How to stop Self Sabotage - Day 23
Michael Jordan once said: “Why would I think about missing a shot I haven’t taken yet.” It’s a brilliant way of thinking and yet it’s so uncommon. If you are anything like me you are immediately taken back to moment in your past when a lot was on the line. For me it was being 12 years old at the AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) State Baseball Championship in Florida. Travel baseball is like religion in Florida and I could rattle off a handful of MLB players who played in this league growing up.
We were in the final playoff game up until the big show. Winner of this game plays in the finals and is guaranteed as second place trophy with a chance to take home the ‘ship. Over the course of 4 days we had already played 10 games. So going back to this specific moment I remember it was the 9th inning and I was moved to first base because of my golden glove' - that and my erratic throwing arm.
The whole team is worn out as we play in the heat of another Florida summer. The sun hasn’t even set yet, but we want it. Our closing pitcher is struggling but we don’t have any depth left so coach leaves him in. Fast forward and we have one out with bases loaded, tie ball game. A double play gets us in the dugout for extra innings. Coach waves us to play up for the double play, we can’t afford to let the home team score. And that’s when the thought enters…
“Don’t hit it to me”… I was tired and scared. I was afraid of making a bad play and letting my team down. I was afraid of failing my parents who sacrificed to allow me to travel and play this game. But to be honest, I was most afraid of being embarrassed.
Next up the batter steps in, pitcher starts his wind up and CRACK… a laser is hit down the first base line. It’s directly to me, and the ball is simultaneously firing toward me and stuck in time. A million thoughts pass through my head until I field the ball and rush a throw to home plate.
It’s a lot throw in the dirt, runner safe. The game is over. In the blink of an eye our season is over.
I’m telling you because this is my “thinking about a bad throw I’m going to make before I even throw it experience.” It’s self sabotaging at it’s finest. Unfortunately I didn’t learn to unwrap this listen around mindset in enough time to save my baseball career.
Looking back it all makes sense though. I had a 15 game hitting streak my senior year of high school and batted over .400 for the season. Every time I got to bat I felt invincible and vividly remember thinking “I know I’m getting on base”. Sure enough I did. When I got into a slump my mindset looked something like “just don’t strike out” and I was filled with fear.
Maybe it’s not basketball or baseball for you, but I know you’ve been here. I know you’ve felt these feelings and crumbled in the face of pressure.
It could look like…
Fumbling over your words when asking out your crush.
Losing connection with flow at your senior piano recital.
Lacking confidence at your business presentation.
Uncertainty when trying to close a sale.
Not being yourself when at a party with new people.
And the recipe for success here is to think and act differently. After all that’s what made Michael Jordan great. It’s not the hours training or studying film. He showed up differently and focused on the person he wanted to be - the one making the shot!
So if you wanna show up with more confidence (and success) in your life start focusing on what you do want to happen -this is what we call the Creation Mentality. And stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen - being in Survival.
It’s your story so you can craft the narrative.
Change “I don’t want to be broke” to “I want financial freedom”.
“I don’t want to be alone” to “I want a thriving community.”
“I don’t want to be injured” to “ I want to be healthy.”
“I don’t want to be laughed at” to “I want to articulate my thoughts beautifully.”
So stop being the biggest blockade to your dreams. When you change the way you think you can change your reality.
