Self Care - Day 10
Self-care has really become a buzz word these days. Lately I hear a lot of people talk about filling your cup, loving yourself, and prioritizing your needs. Which I generally believe in, but we need to set some parameters.
There’s a fine line between what is and what isn’t self care. I say this because I’m seeing the pendulum swing too far in one direction.
There was a time where nobody was taking care of themselves. Nowadays I’m seeing self care become so trendy that people are hiding behind these words as an excuse to get off their ass and do the hard things. Like many things in life self care is a spectrum and we need to find balance.
Let’s talk about the first example for those who aren’t taking time to prioritize their basic needs. I see so many focusing on others before themselves, and I get it you don’t want to be selfish. What seems noble will actually have the most negative impact on you and the people around you.
When you think you are helping by kidding the needs of your kids, significant other, co-workers, friends, etc before your own you are actually slowly killing yourself on the inside. When you give all your energy to others you have nothing left from yourself. This will end up in burnout, irritability, sickness, overwhelm, exhaustion and a negative mental state. Eventually the dam will break through and then you won’t be able to give anything to the people around you and in turn become a burden or have the relationships around you suffer.
After all you can’t pour from an empty cup. What at first feels selfish is really the most selfless thing. When you prioritize your self care it allows you to show up as the best version of yourself: Happy, healthy, vibrant. And being this version of yourself is how you can lift others up. So while in the moment you may feel bad for saying “no” to things or the people around you it will allow you to save your energy. Prioritizing your self care looks different for everyone but it could be a quiet time at home to read a book, a pedicure, going to the gym, exercise, etc. The point is to find things and create space to recharge your batteries.
Then when you keep those batter charged you can show up as a better father, boss, friend, employee, daughter, coach or whatever identity you hold. Fill your cup so that you can pour into others from the overflow!
Alright now that we’ve discussed what self care is and who needs it, let’s talk about what it’s not. Unfortunately I see our society has the needs to take concepts and ideas and over do them. When it comes to self care I believe there are some who take it too far as a shield to prevent them from having to do anything hard in life.
When the going get’s tough the hide behind this “self care” quality. This leads to pushing off deadlines, having hard conversations or any inconvenience because it’s easier to say they need to prioritize themselves. You have to realize that life is full of give and take experiences. And while we need to take care of ourselves we also need to grow by putting ourselves out there, taking chances and doing hard things!
If all you are doing with your life is things that make you happy and taking time for yourself you might need to take a step back to see what value you are adding to the world around you. Schedule self-care, but also remember that it doesn’t mean every aspect of your life is going to be rainbows. You’ve got to take off the rose colored glasses some times, roll up your sleeves and put in some work.
And that’s why self care is a spectrum and requires balance. It’s what I call a “yes, and” conversation. Yes you need to take care of yourself by prioritizing what gives you energy AND you need to do hard shit to live an optimal life.
So let me leave you with two questions.
What area of your life could you add more self care?
What area of your life are you hiding behind self care?
