Kicking Belief - Day 4

When I was in elementary school both my parents were working full time jobs which meant they couldn’t pick me up at 3pm when school got out. In hindsight it’s kind of wild to think any kids could get picked up at 3pm. Luckily my school had a program called “After school care” for the kids who needed to stay after. This was a private school so I’m sure it incurred an extra cost, but I imagine was crucial for my parents.

This after school care was basically just a couple hours of P.E. on the playground until parents could pick up their kids. I remember the first hour was always the best because all the kids were there. Then slowly but surely parents would come and the number of kids would dwindle.

I was lucky to go to this private school that had the biggest and most unique playground. There was one section of natural grass for field games, a treehouse in the middle that had a massive tree running through it, the tallest swing set you’ve ever seen and a concrete court opposite of the swing set.

Most day started with a competitive game of soccer you didn’t want to miss. The other fun part was it was filled with kids of all ages. It was so fun to play with the older kids and attempt to keep up and show you could hang. I held my own for one of the younger kids, but remember thinking I was just off from earning the respect of the bigger kids. I felt like my leg strength was holding me back because I couldn’t kick the ball across the entire court, but I was determined to change that.

I went home that weekend with the goal to improve this skill. Saturday afternoon pulled out the soccer ball and began kicking in the front yard, until it dawned on me I had the perfect target: I HAD to kick the ball over my house to the back yard. THIS would be the ultimate test proving I was ready to kick the ball across the court at school.

My house at the time was in an L shape, where the garage jutted out to make the short side of the L shape. I decided that was the perfect path to aim directly over. It was probably 4pm when I made this goal and I remember kicking for hours getting so close, but I couldn’t seem to get it the right distance.

I remember my mom coming out wondering what I was doing so I explained to her my mission and why it was so important. I guarantee she would remember this moment to this day. To her credit she thought it was a wonderful idea and encourage me to keep trying. She stayed for probably a half hour and then retreated back inside.

In retrospect this seems like some of the best parenting! She encouraged, supported me and allowed me to fail. There wasn’t talking me down, telling me to come inside or an explanation of how unrelated this goal was to the task at hand on the playground. She saw my determination and allowed me to live that out.

I’m curious if she felt like there was a lesson here or just the thought boys will be boys. Either way i got back to the kicking and no matter how hard I tried no avail, the ball wouldn’t go over the house. I started to get discouraged as the sun began to set, but almost instinctively shook it off and became laser focused.

And then it happened! My foot made perfect connection with the ball as I drop kicked it soaring over the house. Immediately my hands shot up in the air and I began running in circles! I did it.

My mom came out after hearing all the noise and she was smiling ear to hear. The pride only a mother could have twinkled in her eye. It’s hard to know if she was proud of my dedication or just admiring the expression of pure joy in her baby boy. Either way it was great to have her celebrate with me in that moment.

I’ll never forget walking to after school care that next week from the classes with the more swag than Deion “Prime Time” Sanders. The confidence boost was palpable for the rest of the school years as I hung with the older kids day in and day out.

I’m telling you all of this because this experience really had nothing to do with skill. I never actually needed to kick the ball across the court in the entire time I played on that court. Essentially this project was a placebo effect allowing me to show up better because I believed in myself.

So the moral of the story is twofold:

First, if you really really believe in yourself, you can show up like the person you want to become. The cool thing about belief is its contagious. When you show up with confidence, others believe in you too.

Secondly, there’s something powerful about creating a challenge, and committing to it until you follow through. I may have never kicked the ball over the house that day, week or month, but I sure as hell was gonna keep trying until it happened. Any time you stay disciplined with something no matter how big or small it’s creating a subconscious behavior until you wake up one day and you are simply the type of person who follows through.

My advice: find one thing today you can commit to doing; and stay with it until you see out all the way through. It doesn’t matter how small the thing, because when you finish you’ll show yourself you are more than capable — and you’ll have a hell of a lot of momentum riding into the next thing you want to do!