Misery to Mastery -Day 43
I’ll never forget being so miserable that after slipping on ice I wish I had broken a bone so I didn’t have to go to work that day.
Okay here’s the backstory.
It was February in 2018 and I was working a job for people who didn’t care. It was toxic culture where “because this is the way we do things” and “that’s what I did when I was in your position” was used a lot.
There was a lack of organization, communication and understanding.
It felt like a sand trap where every day I was sinking a little closer to my demise. I was doing an unpaid internship working more than I ever have in my life. Waking up at 3am, working 12-16 hour days, 7 days a week.
This one particular morning I’m walking out of my house, trudging through the snow to get to my car. I had multiple duffel bags and coffee in hand to prep for the long work day. I step off the curb onto the pavement and CRACK. I slipped on the ice and in what felt like slow motion my feet came out from under me and everything I was holding flew in the air.
I landed on my knee and a sharp pain pulsed through my leg as I just lay there staring up into the sky. There was no rush to move as I was caught in shock, when l the first thought that passes through my head is “Maybe I’m hurt bad enough that I won’t have to go to work.”
You see I thought about quitting daily, but it’s not in my nature. And it would be letting the people I work for win. If I was going to step away it would have to be a really good reason. So when I had hoped it was bad enough, it mean it had to require at least a trip to the hospital to miss work that day. Yeah that’s some insight to the people I worked for and there level of understanding.
I lay on the ground for a few moments until I decided to move. By the time I get to my feet I’m flooded with disappointment - If I could walk I had to go to work. And so I did.
I know I know, it’s a depressing story. But here’s the good news - like much of life there’s a lesson weaved in the disappointment. And here’s what I got…
The 4 months I worked in this place was one of the most miserable times in my life. I had never wanted to quit something more in my life. Even to this day I really don’t know how I finished the internship.
Other than focusing on one day at a time and having a band of brothers in two other interns going through the same thing. Misery really does love it’s company.
And yet as troubling as it was this experience was one of the most profound in my life. I grew so much, understood what it meant to overcome adversity and learned how to receive feedback (the most negative you can imagine) without taking it personally. Basically if I could survive that, then I believed I could survive anything.
This also sparked the flame in my heart to actually go after what I wanted in life because it’s far too short to be this miserable.
I’m telling you all of this because whether you’ve been in the lowest of lows or currently feel this, there’s something to take from it. And that’s the power of the growth mindset. When you can shift your perspective to say: “What can I learn and take away from this, then you can truly take control of your life.”
Wherever you’ve been or currently are doesn’t define you. And it doesn’t mean you have to stay there forever.
I remember vividly during this time being on the phone with my mom and her telling me: “You know Taylor sometimes figuring out what you don’t want is just as important as what you do want.”
I think about this quote often because without this miserable experience I wouldn’t have found what I really wanted to do with my life. And even if I did know I probably would have never taken action if my life was comfortable.
Life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us if we are willing to receive the lessons.
And even more importantly it happens from us; meaning that our response to life’s obstacles determine our ultimate destination.
Whatever you’ve been through or are going through can only change based on your mindset around the situation.
